Hat Writes Stuff

Title: The Fool Who Follows Him
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Jurassic World
Characters: Alan Grant, Zara Young, Claire Dearing
Word Count: 2,074
Rating: G to PG for... mild strong language? (Milder than in the summary)
Pairing(s): Gen
Warnings: None I can think of

Author's Notes:

Summary: The official VIP preview is their first test of guest security and it turns out to be a very solid test, because it seems to Owen that reporters and photographers are at least as determined to get into things that are clearly marked Off Limits as any toddler or teenager. Although he does have to threaten to have anyone who taps, knocks, or bangs on the glass ejected, Owen gets through the night without punching anyone, and only swears once.

“Holy shit, you’re Alan Grant.”

Claire arranged for one of the world's few experts on raptors as living animals to attend the Raptor Sanctuary's VIP preview; this is how.

Previous Part

( It’s ten-thirty in the morning, on the dot, when Alan Grant’s phone rings. )

Title: Found In Translation
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Jurassic World (Harry Potter fusion)
Characters: Owen Grady, Barry, Blue and the Raptor Squad, Claire Dearing, the Indominus Rex, Zach Mitchell, Gray Mitchell, Lowery Cruthers, sundry background canon characters and OCs
Word Count: 37,391
Rating: PG-13 for violence, language, and references to animal abuse/neglect
Pairing(s): Owen/Claire (but definitely not the focus)
Warnings: Canon-Typical violence (both canons), Canonical human and animal death, lots of mook death, canon-typical animal welfare issues

Author's Notes: The original prompt can be found here, as can the original, more serialized posting of this fic. ... I figured with the new movie coming out this month, I should probably actually get this sucker posted. It's already an AU, and you can't Joss an AU.

Summary: Owen Grady speaks Raptor, but it's a language he learned through immersion, the same way his girls learned English. Owen Grady also speaks Parseltongue, but that's because he's a wizard with a bonus gift. It doesn't change a lot about his work, until it really, really changes a lot about his work.

( Owen Grady speaks Raptor as a second language. )

Title: Smells Like Hope Part 7: Diplomatic
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Girl Genius
Characters: Agatha Heterodyne, Dimo, Maxim, Ognian, Jenka, Lilith Clay, Jorgi (letter only), OC citizens of Zumzum (notably Masha and Evgeny)
Word Count: 18,947
Rating: G
Pairing(s): Agatha/Jorgi, background
Warnings: Oblique discussion of and reference to fantastic racism and conditional acceptance, Jägers a little suspicious of offers of help, discussion of the kind of purity policing that politicians only get subjected to when they're women, discussion of women in historical armies in a cross-dressing sort of way, non-graphic non-serious threats against Othar Tryggvassen's life, a gossipy OFC using her powers for good so far, and nearly twenty thousand words of Agatha chatting with various Jägers. Not a single damn exciting thing happens in this fic.

Author's Notes: With thanks to Para and Lilithqueen for inspiration and gracious permission, and Celaeno for beta-reading. (Sorry I started you reading a fifteen-year-long comic archive!)

All canon characters, situations, and plot elements are property of Studio Foglio; no money is made from this fanwork and no infringement is intended.

Summary: In which Agatha meets one of the actually-sneaky Jägers she was promised, various chores are assigned, a couple letters are written, Lilith is better than she wants to be at engineering conditional acceptance, Agatha valiantly does not build a death ray into Maxim's glove, Oggie plays small-town hero, and Masha keeps popping up to gossip.

Previous Part
( Keep Reading... )

Title: Smells Like Hope Part 2: Missing
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Girl Genius
Characters: Jorgi, Stosh, Boris Dolokhov, Klaus Wulfenbach, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, OC Beetleburgers
Word Count: 3,823
Rating: G
Pairing(s): Agatha Heterodyne/Jorgi, frustrated?
Warnings: Warnings for this chapter include: discussion of the ability to take 'No' for an answer, abandonment/rejection issues, privacy issues (searching the house of someone you're into is weird that way), and Oddly Indulgent Klaus Wulfenbach (he's not, actually, he just doesn't want to do paperwork so he's Looking For Clues and also distractions).

Author's Notes: With thanks to Para and Lilithqueen for inspiration and gracious permission, and Celaeno for beta-reading. (Sorry I started you reading a fifteen-year-long comic archive!)

All canon characters, situations, and plot elements are property of Studio Foglio; no money is made from this fanwork and no infringement is intended.

Summary: Jorgi has been invited to call on Miss Agatha Clay, but when he arrives Clay Mechanical, the house and forge are worryingly empty. (Also, for crying out loud, Boris, Jägers know more or less how to behave in a city they aren't actively sacking.)

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Title: Smells Like Hope Part 4: Reveal
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Girl Genius
Characters: Agatha Heterodyne, Jorgi, Adam Clay, Lilith Clay, Sergeant Zuli, OC citizens of Zumzum (notably Lyov, Masha, Katia, and Evgeny)
Word Count: 18,953
Rating: G
Pairing(s): Agatha Heterodyne/Jorgi, Adam Clay/Lilith Clay
Warnings: Arguably justifiable fantastic racism (against Jägers), parental figures keeping secrets, family arguments, weird consent issues (no adult content but they're present and lightly discussed), Barry Heterodyne's A+ Parenting (abandonment issues), Lucrezia Mongfish and associated nope (humiliation, consent issues, mind control, so on and so forth), and one OFC who has the potential to run away with me a little bit.

Author's Notes: With thanks to Para and Lilithqueen for inspiration and gracious permission, and Celaeno for beta-reading. (Sorry I started you reading a fifteen-year-long comic archive!)

All canon characters, situations, verbatim dialogue, and plot elements are property of Studio Foglio; no money is made from this fanwork and no infringement is intended.

Summary: Agatha Clay forgot to tell her adoptive parents that her long-distance suitor is a Jägermonster. Adam and Lilith Clay have been putting off telling Agatha that she's actually a lost Heterodyne heir, and straight-up avoiding telling her that her locket has been keeping the parking brake on her brain for eleven years. Jorgi should probably inform Agatha that there's a city-state being held in trust for her, since nobody else seems to be bringing that up.

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Title: Smells Like Hope 6: Hanging
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Girl Genius
Characters: Agatha Heterodyne, Dimo, Maxim, Ognian, Othar Tryggvassen, Adam Clay
Word Count: 5,548
Rating: G
Pairing(s): Background Agatha/Jorgi, background Adam/Lilith
Warnings: Mentions (but not graphic descriptions) of Beetleburg's bell-jar executions and the aftermath of a hanging, fantastic racism in the form of anti-construct sentiment and conditional acceptance, and Jägers who need hugs. (If there's something else in here I need to warn for, please let me know.)

Author's Notes: With thanks to Para and Lilithqueen for inspiration and gracious permission, and Celaeno for beta-reading. (Sorry I started you reading a fifteen-year-long comic archive!)

All canon characters, situations, verbatim dialogue, and plot elements are property of Studio Foglio; no money is made from this fanwork and no infringement is intended.

Summary: Dimo, Maxim, and Ognian lose a high-stakes game of Hangman. Othar Tryggvassen (Gentleman Adventurer!) should be ashamed of himself. Agatha Clay (Heterodyne) is going to adopt all the Jägers, and you can't stop her.

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Title: Boo York Minute
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Monster High
Characters: Toralei Stripe, Ghoulia Yelps, Ramses de Nile, Nefera de Nile, Cleo de Nile, Madam Ptolemy, Deuce Gorgon, Seth Ptolemy
Word Count: 4,230
Rating: G
Pairing(s): Background Deuce/Cleo, attempted Seth/any princess who'll have him
Warnings: Ramses trying to arrange his daughter's life without her input, Nefera being Nefera planning to manipulate and gaslight.

Author's Notes: I love Monster High and for a 72-minute to commercial, Boo York, Boo York was pretty good. But there were a handful of moments where I went "Wait, what? Seriously, what?"

Summary: What's she doing there? Why did she leave her best friend behind? Why didn't they do the sensible thing, if they were so invested? Why did she refuse? Was she on the marquee?

A look at the gaping plot holes and gnawing questions that the latest Monster High special has me asking.

( Villain Decay )

( Genre Savvy )

( Altar Diplomacy )

( Child Marriage Veto )

( The Show Must Go On )

Title: Strange Cases
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Monster High (mostly diaries, some webisode influences)
Characters: Jackson and Holt's parents, Jackson Jekyll, Holt Hyde, background family
Word Count: 11,933
Rating: PG
Pairing(s): Jackson and Holt's parents (technical OCs, Brand Burns, Jenny Jekyll, and Hedda Hyde)
Warnings: Occasionally misguided parenting decisions made with the best of intentions, periodic foul language (I tried to stick with MH style language, but Hedda Hyde wanted to be able to cuss), a bundle of control and self-esteem issues (thanks, Henry Jekyll), a couple of minor instances of non-graphic violence (one involving drunk college idiots and canon-typical fantastic racism), adult fears, and spoilers for The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, which came out in 1886 and is available to read for free on Project Gutenberg, so if you want to go read that first, I'll wait here for you.

Author's Notes: I can't blame anyone but myself for this one. Thanks, however, go to Celaeno for reading the thing and agreeing it hit her in the feels where it hit me, and if you want to picture Brand and Jenny the way I do, picture them as imagined by Creamo Dreamo. Names were chosen for canon-style puns, alliteration and meaning, or sheer nerdery (Jennifer Walters is She-Hulk). A line of dialogue was filched from Jackson Jekyll's signature diary, as was the situation in the last scene.


Summary: Knowing the inspiration, it's sometimes easy for fans of Monster High to look at a teenage character or a series of parenting decisions and wonder, "How in the hell did that happen?"

Jackson Jekyll and Holt Hyde, son of a fire elemental and a great-great-whatever-granddaughter of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, spent fifteen years believing they were each alone in their body, and just had a sleep disorder that kept Jackson from staying up past sunset and Holt awake all night long, right up until their trigger changed to the presence (or absence) of music in 4/4 time over 90 decibels.

This is the story of how in the hell that happened.

---

( They met at college, sort of. )

Title: To Be Free, Part One: Lucky Bird, Inside a Gilded Cage
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Aladdin (film, series, & sequels)
Characters: Jasmine, Mozenrath, Jafar, Sultan, Rajah, Xerxes, Destane
Word Count: 14,041
Rating: PG (read fanfiction with your kids, folks)
Pairing(s): None, but with discarded consideration of Jasmine/Mozenrath (thus tagged 'het technically')
Warnings: Implications of child abuse and abandonment, discussion of child marriage, age difference just wide enough to feel not-okay, and I'm gonna say 'Jafar' counts as a warning, even though he doesn't appear frequently in this part.

Author's Notes: This one has been in my head for a LONG time. The title is taken from a deleted song from the movie ultimately used in the Aladdin Musical Spectacular stage show in California Adventure; the subtitles for each part are snipped from the lyrics. This first part is packed full of adolescence, foreshadowing, Chekov's Guns, and occasional flashes of deep, deep irony.

PLEASE NOTE the presence of a NEW TAG, '!check warnings before reading!' Usually if you can handle the canon I'm writing for, the fic should have nothing terribly upsetting. To Be Free, however, includes some heavy stuff. The first part is the lightest.

May 2020 Update: To Be Free was written before Disney's 2020 terms-of-service update (to which I did not agree, though only time and contract disputes will tell if "Yeah but I didn't sign your TOS" will hold up in court) and is only remaining posted online because I do not believe Disney would be particularly interested in appropriating a canon-divergence AU using material from an animated series they've been pretending doesn't exist since about, oh, late 2001.

Summary: It was a lovely day in young Princess Jasmine's garden, and then the boy sorcerer fell out of the air.

Act one of a three-act canon divergence story where Mozenrath and Jasmine meet at seventeen and thirteen, respectively, and strike up a clandestine friendship because they're both bored and lonely. Covers almost three years.

( It was a nice enough day to be out in the gardens; Jasmine had managed to excuse herself from her lessons by saying that Rajah had seemed restless that morning, as though he needed exercise or something to chase. )

Title: To Be Free, Part Three: Free to Throw Away a Treasure
Author: Almighty Hat
Fandom: Aladdin
Characters: Aladdin, Jasmine, Mozenrath, Genie, Jafar, Sultan, Destane, Abu, Xerxes, Carpet, Iago, Rajah
Word Count: 13,608
Rating: Harder PG than the last part.
Pairing(s): Technically, Aladdin/Jasmine and Jasmine/Mozenrath.
Warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. Also, again with the age disparities (Jasmine is just barely sixteen, Al is eighteen, Mozenrath is twenty; not too bad but not legal in my state), implications of consent issues, violence and the aftermath of violence, abusive parental relationship, a touch of body horror, and again I am warning for Jafar, Destane, and CHARACTER DEATH.

May 2020 Update: To Be Free was written before Disney's 2020 terms-of-service update (to which I did not agree, though only time and contract disputes will tell if "Yeah but I didn't sign your TOS" will hold up in court) and is only remaining posted online because I do not believe Disney would be particularly interested in appropriating a canon-divergence AU using material from an animated series they've been pretending doesn't exist since about, oh, late 2001.

Author's Notes: The final part! This part is not light reading, but you'll notice I didn't warn for an unhappy ending. Further Author's Notes and the full lyrics of To Be Free will be included at the end of the work (not included in the word count), for all your curiosity-satisfying needs.

Summary: Jasmine's sixteenth birthday starts off with a reasonable plan and an engagement announcement, and then Jafar gets the lamp and everybody's plans go right out the window.

Act three of a three-act canon divergence story where Mozenrath an Jasmine met three years before the events of "Aladdin." Contains selected scenes of unchanged or nearly-unchanged dialogue where plot relevant as well as veering off into brand new territory. Covers about twelve hours of one day.

( It was Jasmine’s sixteenth birthday, the last day for her to marry and still be within the limits of the law. She and Mozenrath had kept Aladdin up late last night, outlining their plan. )

Further Author's Notes: Now that you've made it this far, I can tell you the English Class theme of this story. The film Aladdin was about disguises, truth versus lies, and being yourself. To Be Free is partly about truth and lies, but mostly about captivity versus freedom, only a secondary theme in the movie. Everyone in this story, whether or not I want you to root for them or not, is a prisoner somehow-- to social status, to a job, to obligation or duty, to a magic lamp. Some of them are satisfied with their cages and prisons. Some of them would gnaw off a limb to get out of their traps. Some of them would be willing to bear up for the rest of their lives, if they could free someone else.

This story has been in my head for at least five years, and spilled out into the keyboard over nine days. Emily kept me going with encouragement and amazing feedback like "I've never even seen a Mozenrath episode, how are you making me ship them so hard?" which, really, is a super-awesome compliment to get. The total word count over all three parts is 41,826. To Be Free is almost eighty pages. I have a few terribly vague ideas for continuations (it'd almost be unfair not to introduce Sadira to this universe), but I make no promises as to what or when.